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No One On SWAT Team Wants To Wait In Ventilation Duct With HowardThe Onion - 24 hours ago CHICAGO—"I got stuck on a rooftop with Howard a month ago, and with no prompting he acted out about 20 minutes of Napoleon Dynamite," said one SWAT officer. Tagged: friendship, news, crime, police, workplace |
The Onion - Sep 6, 2008
Onion Radio News - with Doyle Redland
Tagged: health, doctors, onion radio news
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Evolutionists Flock To Darwin-Shaped Wall StainThe Onion - Sep 5, 2008 DAYTON, TN—"I brought my baby to touch the wall, so that the power of Darwin can purify her genetic makeup of undesirable inherited traits," said one Darwinic pilgrim. Tagged: news, religion, science and technology |
The Onion - Sep 5, 2008
British researchers found that patients who chewed gum after undergoing colon surgery had bowel movements sooner than those who did not. What do...
Tagged: health, cancer, science and technology, american voices
The Onion - Sep 5, 2008
Onion Radio News - with Doyle Redland
Tagged: products, onion radio news