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The Onion - Aug 27, 2008
The people of America need to put aside their differences and come together on common ground. Especially at this crucial moment in our history....
Also tagged: politics, national, opinion, race, human interest
The Onion - Aug 16, 2008
NEW YORK—Skeptics will be pleased traditional Soderberghian themes are present: anger, betrayal, and the travails of cool, wealthy people who plan crime capers.
Also tagged: entertainment, news, movies, celebrities, george clooney, theater
The Onion - Aug 8, 2008
SEATTLE—"At first it was pretty awkward," said one observer. "But then it was like, 'Yes, Soundgarden is back.' It was so intense."
Also tagged: entertainment, music, news, food, shopping, celebrities
The Onion - May 27, 2008
PHILADELPHIA—Police were led on a reckless, high-speed pursuit past more than a dozen of downtown Philadelphia's most historically fascinating...
Also tagged: education, travel, crime, police, news in brief
The Onion - Mar 28, 2008
CHICAGO—In a daring show of hip-hop-infused ballet, a Chicago Academy of the Arts student put it all on the line and found the rhythm that was always within her.
Also tagged: entertainment, women, news, movies
The Onion - Feb 29, 2008
WASHINGTON—Authorities expect the shortage to subside by April, but until then, urge citizens to skip shy the rickshaw until the flypaper marigolds can waterfall.
Also tagged: news, trends, senior citizens, poor
The Onion - Jan 10, 2008
NEWORLEANS—Following this year's BCS National Championship game, held in NewOrleans' Louisiana Superdome, commissioners from all amateur...
Also tagged: sports, sports nib
The Onion - Jan 10, 2008
NEWORLEANS—Mere moments after hoisting the crystal national championshiptrophy, Tigers coach Les Miles announced that LSU had made the decision to "goout on top" and retire after almost 150 years as a public...
Also tagged: football, sports, sports news
The Onion - Nov 20, 2007
Something is amiss in these United States. A pall cast over the land that forebodes a looming sense of dread. The laughter of average Americans is...
Also tagged: opinion, human interest, self improvement
The Onion - Nov 12, 2007
ST. PAUL, MN—Spoken in a hushed and honeyed tone, the name of American Idol 2 winner Ruben Studdard spilled forth from the lips of a...
Also tagged: entertainment, celebrities, news in brief