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The Onion - Sep 17, 2008
Our company started manufacturing and reconditioning toner cartridges back in 1993, and 15 years later, Wernicke is the name you can trust...
The Onion - Sep 17, 2008
With the Dow Jones industrial average plunging more than 500 points Monday, both Sen. John McCain and Sen. Barack Obama are claiming they have a plan...
Also tagged: politics, business, american voices
The Onion - Sep 15, 2008
BRIDGEWATER, IA—Shortly after watching back-to-back episodes of Love Connection, The Newlywed Game, and Lingo Monday night, local resident...
Also tagged: entertainment, news in brief
The Onion - Sep 12, 2008
HOUSTON—While campaigning in Texas Monday, Sen. John McCain delivered a speech outlining his personal energy policy, a plan that offsets...
Also tagged: politics, john mccain, news in brief, elderly
The Onion - Sep 11, 2008
NEW YORK—Faced with several tough factors, the nation has once again been hit hard, sources reported Tuesday. "It is unclear whether the...
Also tagged: cancer, energy, national, environment, news in brief
The Onion - Sep 9, 2008
The federal government announced this weekend that it would seize control of Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae, the country's two biggest mortgage firms, in...
Also tagged: business, american voices
The Onion - Sep 3, 2008
Onion Radio News - with Doyle Redland
Also tagged: fashion, onion radio news, clothing
The Onion - Jul 30, 2008
I picked up one of our fine city's newspapers from underneath the wheel of a fruit cart last week and saw a fascinating article about our current...
Also tagged: opinion, local, homeless, human interest
The Onion - Jul 28, 2008
MACON, GA—If buyers can't find shit in the right color or size, the crap they need can be located in heaping piles of overstock shit in the warehouse.
The Onion - Jul 14, 2008
WASHINGTON—"Every American family deserves a false sense of security," said one analyst, hoping to persuade Congress to back an unviable short-term solution.